Low confidence can happen for many reasons and seem to come out of nowhere. Thoughts of doubt or unworthiness, a sudden disconnection from your body, feelings of not measuring up to an ideal when you look in the mirror, or self-defeating beliefs about what you have to offer in bed.
None of these add up to feeling particularly frisky, especially if you’re worried that what you think about yourself, your partner must be thinking too.
Before considering what the best sex positions for low confidence are, the first step is keeping your mind open to the experience of pleasure.
Reconnecting with your body in a loving way (especially when you’re not feeling too hot) can begin with something as simple as self-touch. Run your fingers along your skin and focus on nothing but the feeling of being in a body, pouring thoughts of gratitude out the tips of your fingers onto your skin. Take long inhales and even longer exhales, and move your hands along your body at the slow pace of your breathing. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable and allow yourself to be loved.
Engaging in sexual contact with a lover when you are experiencing low confidence is an opportunity to deepen your bond. Sex while in this mood can be incredibly comforting, especially if you accept and ask for what you need. Perhaps, unlike a regular session where you’re naked, this time you’d like to keep your socks on, or wear a cozy sweater, or put the blanket entirely over both of you and have “fort sex.”
The perfect time for lube!
If your mind isn’t allowing your body to get where it wants to, the worst thing to do is shame yourself or get upset for a lack of lubrication. Not only can the application of lube turn into an opportunity for slow, sensual touch, but once the good feelings get going through pain-free penetration and heightened sensation, you will find yourself gradually forgetting what was bothering you. GoLove CBD Lube creates a full-body calming sensation that helps relieve tension and sexual anxiety so that you can be more at peace during intimate moments.
Best sex positions for low confidence: A twist on the classics
When you’re experiencing low confidence, it’s easier to slip into thoughts of worry or anxiety, both of which block arousal and orgasm. Approach penetrative sex with the commitment not to have an expectation of a certain outcome. Enjoy the journey.
Both partners are stomach-to-stomach, with both pubic bones pressed together. Beyond the natural closeness of this position and eye contact, the added bonus is the ability to move really slow. If you’re feeling low in confidence, this position is perfect for kissing, which can help you stay in the moment rather than drifting into thought.
Within the same realm as Missionary in terms of positioning, but one partner has their legs splayed wide open to the sides. What can boost confidence more than getting in a deep stretch while simultaneously enjoying the view?
Coital alignment technique
A rather un-sexy name for a rather sexy result. Assume the Missionary position, but instead of one partner thrusting from the typical position, have them move higher up and try a rocking motion. This will create more friction against the clit.
Sometimes, your partner’s weight can feel smothering if you’re in a bad mood. If you like the feeling of weight, but don’t want the eye-gazing and long makeout session, flip over. Have your partner penetrate you slowly and hold you in place with their body, or put pressure on your wrists with your hands over your head.
For some, this feeling of being “overcome,” can be incredibly erotic.
Another face down position, but this time stretch one leg out and bend the other to the side. Your partner will be on top, holding themselves up with their arms. This position is also good for anal sex, with extra pressure put on the pelvis.
We get it, you might be thinking: if I’m feeling like I have low confidence, why would I want to be on top? If you like having some space to yourself while still experiencing pleasure and connecting with your partner, missionary or face down might not be for you.
This particular top position requires enough focus that it will keep you out of your head, and enough work that you’re bound to get endorphins flowing.
Facing away from your partner is in no way signifying that you don’t want intimacy, rather, this position allows you to be more mindful of how your body is feeling. The more that you are connected to your body, the greater the energy will flow between the two of you.
If you tend to prioritize your partner’s pleasure, this position is also a potent “inward” position. You can close your eyes and enter your own fantasy world.
With low confidence can also come low energy. This position requires very little physical effort, as you’re merely lying on your side with your knees up, as your partner penetrates you from behind (anally or vaginally).
Instead of facing away from your partner in the spooning position, turn and face them. If eye contact helps you feel connected, this is a wonderful position. It’s also a great place to begin before moving into penetration, as you can engage in mutual masturbation while kissing. This is definitely a confidence boosting position because of the amount of touch and access it provides!
This upright position has one partner standing on one foot, with the other wrapped around the other’s waist. As with Missionary, this position is intimate because of how face-to-face it is. While you’re here, why not experiment with dirty talk? For added fun, try incorporating a bit more of a slippery sensation with lube.
You’ll never look at your dining room chair the same. With one partner seated, the other sits on their lap facing away. If the partner seated on the chair is feeling low confidence, then it’s the perfect time to get out of your head by simply enjoying the view.
Best sex positions for low confidence: A worthy challenge
Endless curiosity is key to keeping sex sessions stress-free, especially if one of you is feeling a bit off.
Stand and Deliver
Stand in front of your partner, facing away from them, and bend over while keeping your legs straight. While standing sex isn’t always easy, the rush of blood to the head makes this position seem like a woozy dream--and that’s so worth it. Want to make it a bit kinkier? Tie the wrists to the ankles.
Who comes up with these names? This position requires quite a bit of communication, which might make it feel like something fun that you’re accomplishing together! There is no need to feel low confidence when you’re working towards orgasm as a unit. Lie on your back with your legs folded so far over your head that your ankles touch your ears (consider yourself a sexy pretzel). Have your partner squat and dip themselves in.
The Golden Arch
While this position has nothing to do with fast food, you will certainly work up an appetite. One partner sits with their legs straight out, while the other sits on top. From there, the top partner bends their knees on their thighs, and both lean back.
Best sex positions for low confidence: In the land of oral
Boosting confidence can happen quickly when playfulness is involved. In this position, one person is on their back on a bed or couch, while the other stands above them to receive pleasure. This position is a bit of a challenge, which could really help to keep your head in the game (pun fully intended).
69, But Spooning
Sharing is caring, and there is no better position to enjoy oral than lounging on your side. Rather than holding yourselves up, this position allows for more relaxed close contact. Come one, come all!
Heir to the Throne
If you’re feeling low in confidence, there is no better time to be worshipped. The receiver (you!) sits on a chair, while the other kneels in front and pleasures you with their mouth. Sit back and enjoy.
Best sex positions for low confidence: Solo play
There is an immense amount of confidence that comes from knowing your own body. Being able to turn yourself on and get yourself off (or even just enjoy the ride with no orgasmic destination necessary) will help you be able to communicate to a partner how to touch you. To experience G Spot pleasure, lie on your back with your knees up and insert your fingers, curved upward.
With gentle loving eyes, rediscover your own body and shower yourself with good feelings. This masturbation position allows for a front row seat to the glory that is you. Position yourself in front of a mirror, legs spread, and begin exploring and experimenting with different rhythms, strokes, and patterns.
There are few things more soothing than warm water; second only to the satisfaction of an orgasm (okay, maybe a deep sleep too). Sit in the bath, let the water from the shower head run across your body, and once you’re feeling nice and relaxed, detach the shower head and point that water pressure down south. No detachable shower-head? No worries. Position yourself under your tub-faucet and feel that surge of water in all the right places.
Best sex positions for low confidence: It’s OK to switch it up
When you’re out of flow with your mojo, it’s possible that what you “usually” like isn’t working. Don’t be afraid to stop things halfway through and try something else, or take a break altogether. If you just want to be held, make that known. Maybe, things will naturally slip back into something sexy, in which case, reach for GoLove, and go for it again.